And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
