Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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