Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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