my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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