I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just found puke in my bra..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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