I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
