look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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