In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize