Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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