32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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