he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
