I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think i got beer on your cat.
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