After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
