Can Purell be used as lube?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
