So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
