Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
