After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
