pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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