i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Found the puke drawer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
