you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
