Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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