I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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