I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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