Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
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He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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