you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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