yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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