So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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