Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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