Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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