if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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