I can text with my tongue
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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