so explain again why im purple
no
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
