your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
