I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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