we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
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How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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