and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
4 words: hood of his car
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
