Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
