Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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