Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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