i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
