I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
