i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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