in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
