i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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