Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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