Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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