I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
