that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
