In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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