Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
