I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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