Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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