Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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