Cold hands, warm shart.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
