Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This house was built for laser tag.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
