If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
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How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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