New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
