After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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