You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
